The Cult Within

In my first post I said that one of my reasons for this site was to expose the cult-like mentality within the GCM website.  Why do I think there is something strange going on there?  Below are examples of why I think there is a cult within GCM.  I don’t want to go into too much detail because of how personal it is, but hopefully I will give enough so you will understand. 

1) My sister withdrew from ALL family and most of her old friends (even ones from high school that she still talked to on a regular basis) except for a group of GCMers she surrounded herself with.  If anyone disagreed with her parenting, religious views or marriage they were quickly cast aside.  This is not normal behavior.  This is what members of a cult do. 

2) Her theology kept changing over the years, with drastic changes occurring when she moved to the same area of the people I consider the cult portion of GCM.  This group of women would get together once a week.  My sister considered this her fellowship/church since she stopped going to church for reasons I mentioned under number 1.

3)  My sister started lying to us and she lied about us.

4)  She even started having trouble with people on GCM.  After she explained the reason why she was mad at some of them, I told her they seemed concerned about her (this was obviously before she kicked me out of her life).  I stood up for the GCM people.  They aren’t all cult-like! 

5)  I don’t know how much of it was the Dress Your Truth, but she started to dress like one of the GCMers she lives around.  They also all got body piercings.  She knew her family would think that piercings were odd but from what she told me she wanted the controversy. 

6) There are other reasons, but they are too personal to share on the world wide web.  I hope the above give you a better indication of how the people on this site tore my sister’s family apart.

Either my sister found herself in a cult or these women are very disturbed.  I wrote to the one who took control of my sister’s email (that is another reason…who takes over another person’s email account???) and told her my sister is not acting like her normal self.  I tried to reach out to this woman to encourage her to encourage my sister to get the help she needed (she was experiencing paranoia about so many people in her life – see number 4 for one example).  This woman never replied to me.  These women allowed my sister to go down this destructive path.  They didn’t care about her family and friends from her past.  They didn’t advise her Biblically, but from a worldly standpoint.  They must have encouraged her that everyone in her life that didn’t agree with her were abusive people.  It seems like a cult where abuse is the god.  From what I have been told, everyone in their group has supposedly been abused.

What should the GCM website do about this?  The site is huge with posts.  Some house cleaning needs to be done.  Bad theology is rampant and needs to be done away with.  The old posts that encourage members to lie or do anything else not Christ like should be erased.  They need to put their focus on Christ or maybe they should remove the name Christian from their group so as not to mislead people.

If you are on GCM and you aren’t happy in your marriage, please do not seek help from these people.  Go to your local church and local church members and the Bible.  Don’t let them tell you everything your spouse does is abusive (or other family members for that matter).  Remember: There are women on this site that will tell you EVERYTHING your spouse does is abusive and their advice will only lead to destruction. 

As Paul encourages in 1 Corinthians 16:13-14, be watchful, stand firm in the faith and  let all that you do be done in love.

If you have had a similar experience, please leave a comment or send me an e-mail at

8 responses to “The Cult Within

  1. I’m not sure why you think a message board should only have one theology or one set of advice and ideas, or why it should be censored or edited. Each post is written by an individual person who is only expressing her personal thoughts and ideas. Of course, in such an environment everyone should read ‘watchfully’ and carefully evaluate what advice they choose to recieve.

    Clearly you think your sister is running with a bad crowd — but that doesn’t make it a ‘cult’. Perhaps your sister is particularly succeptable to peer pressure, or maybe she just feels right in her new convictions and experiences. (It is normal for people to be independant from familiy members when they are an adult.) With an attitude of respect, I think you and she could certainly rebuild your relationship. You might start by respecting her privilidge to hold ideas that differ from your ideas — there is really no reason to feud over simple differences of opinions, as long as neither of you feels the need to pressure the other one (or defend one’s self).

    To others: if you are unhappy in your marriage, there are many places on the internet that will tell you what is and is not abusive behaviour. If you feel you are being abused, GCM is quite a reasonable place to talk about it. It is not a place that will tell you to pretend abuse is no big deal in the Kingdom of God.

    • What ever we do should be for the glory of God and to please Him (Col 3:12-17, 2 Cor 5:9). If people are promoting sin, then this does not glorify God. Since Christian is in the name of GCM, it seems fitting that 2 Timothy 3:16 should be put to use.

  2. Why do you think people on GCM are promoting sin? The only ‘sin’ you seem to think your sister has committed is that she confused her husband’s (admittedly) “awful” behaviour towards her with the sin of spousal abuse — and that therefore she has separated herself from his ongoing unrepentant sin against her… even though you affirm that people who are actually abused need to keep themselves safe from their abusers.

    If it is not a sin to separate yourself from an abusive spouse, what sin did GCM encourage in your sister’s life?

  3. From the sounds of it, nobody forced your sister to make those choices. Nobody forced her to go ‘down that road”. As an adult, she chose which friends she wanted to have…

    And since nobody online is ‘real’, then how do we know that you were horribly controlling to your sister and that’s why she cut you out of her life?

    Seriously, your blog is full of finger pointing towards one place when it really shouldn’t be pointing at all. Your sister made her choices and her decisions. If a GCM took over her email, she probably let them. If she got a body piercing, it probably was her choice and nobody forced her to.

    It sounds more like your sister was very unhappy in her life and was going through a change of life of some sorts more than it being all because of GCM.

  4. Oh my. I can’t believe I found your site. I’m no longer a member at GCM, but I was for quite some time. They are EXACTLY as you described! My experience there was almost identical to your sister’s (except for the part about living near other GCMers). Yes, they give horrible marriage advice, for the most part. I had to get out. It was like brainwashing. It was very much like a cult. I thought it was my own fault that they influenced me like they did….until I read your entry! Thank you!

    • It is great to hear from the ones who got away from it! How did you realize you needed to get away from them? It is so heartbreaking that everybody doesn’t see it.

      Thank you so much for your comment.

  5. I will add, I never lied to anyone or lied about my family to GCM.

    Some GCMs had a way of ostracizing people in your life *for* you, in a way (particularly people in your life who aren’t progressive type christians/parents/wives). If you were one to discuss having interpersonal conflict with your loved ones, they often gave relationship advice with the flavor of encouraging enmity rather than reconciliation, if that makes sense. Sometimes very vehemently!
    Countless times I witnessed many members categorizing women’s husbands, parents, etc., as abusers when women would share about problems in relationships. This often happened when women would share about their marriage. Often if a husband was struggling (and acting accordingly) they would advise the member to end her marriage, and not because there was abuse! I saw one member advised to do as such over an issue that wasn’t even biblical grounds for divorce.
    One former GCMer wrote to you saying:

    “Other negative points include the projecting a personal experience on to everyone or everything (for example, “I have a bad relationship with my mother/family, so therefore you all have bad relationships with your mothers/families”) and the subsequent buying into it by some other members, and the constant drama and being perpetually offended coming from some members was draining”

    This is so true. I could have said these words exactly.

    I realized I needed to leave for several reasons. One that comes to mind is the argumentative nature of the long-time members. There are certain parts of the board and certain topics that these people seem to gravitate towards.

    But the main thing that woke me up and helped me see the truth was when they told me to leave my husband. He and I were struggling. He was struggling with some different things, but nothing that crossed the line into abuse or even “abnormal” problems, if you will. We were in marriage counseling, my husband being a willing participant. Then, the women of GCM that I so trusted told me to leave this wonderful man and father of our kids, and completely turn our lives upside down. All because he, at that time in his life, didnt fit their ideal. I’m so so happy I didn’t follow their advice. We continued marriage counseling until we were okay, and today have a marriage that is amazing and God -honoring. The prognosis that some GCMers gave me about my marriage couldn’t have been more wrong.
    And I’m just one small example out of many things that I saw there.

    • Thank you for stating this publicly. I get many private correspondence about these same things. I hope it will help others see the truth of what goes on behind closed doors.

      “they often gave relationship advice with the flavor of encouraging enmity rather than reconciliation, if that makes sense. Sometimes very vehemently!”

      Yes, this makes perfect sense. I completely understand! Reconciliation is seen as bad because the relationship is deemed abusive by GCMers. It seems more likely to me that the woman is not in total control of the marriage.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s