Monthly Archives: September 2012

Commenting Guidelines

After posting Online Dangers I received a very ungracious comment, I wanted to reiterate what I had stated in my very first post,  “…please be aware that any mean-spirited or rude comments will be deleted.” 

I did want to address some things from that comment though.  

I am a Christian.  Being a Christian, it is my desire to have my
thoughts line up with what God has to say.  I will not go into a long
explanation of how God’s word is not a cult (not the point of this website). Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.  Any group (I am referring to the ones in particular that call themselves  Christians) that goes beyond God’s word is in danger of being a cult (not that they are, but that they are in a dangerous place).  God’s word is very precious and I do not wish to use it in a wrong manner, hence going to elders whom I trust, to ensure I am correctly handling God’s word.  Cults go to their human leaders for guidance who do not use the Bible as their starting point.
 
I am writing this blog for specific reasons (one reason is not to delve into the
merits of Christianity, but to warn people so the same thing does not happen to
their family as happened to mine; please see my about page
https://exposegcm.wordpress.com/about/).  I am not out to call all online
communities cults (nor even all of the GCM forum).  I am truly sorry if it came across that way!  But I must warn of trouble when I see it, because how loving is it not to (I was accused of being a hate monger)?  My family has been hurt terribly, I do not want anyone else to lose a beloved family member in such a sad and unnecessary way.

I was also told I seem to hate women.  That was a shocker to me!  If the commentor who said that reads this, specifics of why you think this would be helpful. 

Let me end by reminding readers of who this website is for:

1) families who have been negatively impacted by gentlechristianmothers.com (GCM)

2) women looking to join gentlechristianmothers.com

3) men who want to see what their wives are joining (or have joined)

4) current GCMers who might have felt like there was a problem but just can’t put their finger on what that problem is.

Online Dangers

We have heard the stories of old men posing as young teenagers to win the confidence of young girls.  It is scary.  The fact of the matter is you just never know if people online are who they say they are until you meet them in person (which can be dangerous if they turn out not to be who they say and even then they might not be who they say they are).  Though this may not be as sinister as that, it can still get you into trouble.

In my last post I talked about what I think is a cult portion of GCM.  If there is a cult within, you usually don’t know that at first do you?  You think you are with like-minded people, but before you know it you don’t have an opinion of your own anymore.  You have become part of the cult and their opinions have become yours.  When/how did this happen?  Ahhhh, the dangers of online friends!  You just never know.

Husbands

A word of warning to husbands of GCMers.  Did you know one of the rules of GCM is that your wife is not supposed to let you read anything posted on the forum pages.  Here is their rule number 14.

14. No letting anyone else, including your husband, read or post to the board with your account or use your account for any reason.

I can only imagine this rule was put there so women will feel safe to talk about anything,  but I hope that GCMers will think about this rule a bit more.  First and foremost, it probably isn’t the best idea to keep things from your husband especially since this forum is often a big part of someone’s life.  I have seen firsthand how one-sided they can be in their response to problems in another person’s life and that causes A LOT of problems!  Do you really want them posting about your marriage on the world wide web?  Your parenting ability?

Second reason to rethink this rule: women tend to have a lot of words they speak each day and not all of them are good and edifying.  Sometimes it is good to have a husband read something to make sure you are being kind and theologically sound and to be sure you are reading something the correct way. Husbands often look at things a different way.  For example, a GCMer might take offense at something that was written.  If she ran it past her husband first, the husband could show her a different viewpoint from how she read it.  The GCM wife would see there is nothing to be offended by, thereby avoiding unnecessarily hurt feelings.

Secrecy

Husbands, did you know that there are layers of secrecy on the GCM forum? I don’t know how many.  There is the public part of the forum where you could get on and read.  Then there is a section that only members can get on.  But there is at least one more private layer you can get on.  I think I only saw stuff (oops, my sister broke rule number 14) from the first private layer.  I can’t imagine what is even on the second layer of privacy.

Maybe there shouldn’t be this much secrecy on a website.  You never know who is really on it anyway.  So do you really want just anybody reading what you write about personal matters, GCMers?  Maybe a forum is not the best place to air all your laundry.  Maybe you shouldn’t be posting anything personal on a web forum?  Does your husband know what you are posting about your family online?  If not, I would highly recommend you let him in on your little world.

A last note about online dangers.  Time goes by quickly when you are online!  It can rob us of time actually spent with our spouses and children.  GCMers are you spending too much time online and not enough time with your family?  It is one thing to get on and get ideas about how to do something, quite another to be on and on and on and on and on and on.  Husbands of GCMers, do you feel like your wife is too preoccupied with the forums and not enough time with you and the kids?  GCMers talk to your husband.  Ask him if he thinks you are on too much.  Husbands, if your wife is on too much, tell her.  If you have concerns about the site, talk to your wife about them.  And may your marriages be strengthened in the Lord!

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.
(Ephesians 5:15-16 ESV)

“O LORD, make me know my end
and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am!
(Psalm 39:4 ESV)