Monthly Archives: March 2014

Our Side of the Story

If two people are having a problem, then there are two sides to that problem.  I want to finally share my family’s side of the story.  I was hesitant to do so out of respect for my sister and my family even though I know my sister has no problems sharing intimate details of her life with thousands of people online.  It still seemed wrong to me.

My sister’s friend commented on my Sister post.  She said I leave tidbits out.  Yes, yes I do.  I am trying to be respectful.  It has been hard not to give our full side of the story.

I’d still prefer to keep this private, but I am getting tired of being misunderstood and demonized, and with the recent events that took place at GCM.  It is time.

 

 

A Former GCMer

This is a letter I received from a former GCMer.  She has accepted my invitation to post this on the GCM stories page.  I wanted to add a few words here.  I am thankful she wrote to me.  She does not leave out the good she received from GCM, but she does recognize some of the negatives.  I am glad she is willing to share so that others can see an insider’s view since I am definitely an outsider looking in.
Thank you.

I came across the “Expose GCM” blog after learning about another big split that recently occurred in the GCM community. I left GCM a few years ago, and have never looked back until learning this news.

I first learned about GCM while looking for different parenting advice, because what I was using wasn’t working, and the advice I was receiving wasn’t any better or helpful.

Your blog brings up a number of good points; however, I have never found GCM to be a cult – very addictive, yes; and as commenter Amy brought up, it does suck a lot of time, which I also regret.

GCM is a huge community, and frankly, with way too many forums to manage effectively. (To GCM’s credit, the mods/admins have reported to the authorities cases of abuse which were brought up on the boards.)

For the positive points of GCM: it taught me a new way of parenting and interacting with my kids, as well as introducing me to a number of good Christian authors (such as Jeff Van Vonderen, Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller, Clay & Sally Clarkson and Tim Kimmel). The concept of “positive intent” has been invaluable, and it has helped me in many situations — with my family and in other areas of my life. The concept of setting healthy boundaries has been helpful. There were a number of sound, thought-provoking discussions on Bible and theology. For these things I am very grateful.

Now for the negative points of GCM: certain human/cultural ideologies held by a number of the members were allowed to take over portions of the community, despite the Statement of Beliefs (SoB) explicitly being against many of these views. Opposing voices were often shut down in discussions of these topics, and it was that happening one too many times which was when I decided to leave the community entirely.

Other negative points include the projecting a personal experience on to everyone or everything (for example, “I have a bad relationship with my mother/family, so therefore you all have bad relationships with your mothers/families”) and the subsequent buying into it by some other members, and the constant drama and being perpetually offended coming from some members was draining. This is a failing of not only the moderators, but other members of the community to lovingly but firmly call these ladies out and say that your experience, as bad as it was, does not mean everyone else had this experience nor should you project it on to others.

There is also a fine line between exhibiting grace (where you still hold the person accountable for their actions), and permissiveness (where bad behavior is excused away under the guise of grace). When this line gets blurred, it does become frustrating. In retrospect, this also factored into my decision to leave.

You asked in one of your posts how non-Christians can be allowed on a Christian board. They are allowed to join; however, they must abide by the SoB, and it was viewed as an opportunity to witness to them, which is what we are supposed to be doing.

The deeper levels of the boards are appreciated, especially when you are dealing with more sensitive (not abusive) situations or have prayer requests — having these publicly available is not a good thing either, the privacy is needed. As far as the encouragement to lie — in my several years there, I have never seen this (but I also did not participate in every forum, including the marriage forum). Did people lie? Yes, but again, from what I have witnessed, it was their own decision to do so, and some of these lies as well as ‘fake’ people were outed.

As with anything, some of the ideas promoted within GCM can be taken to an extreme — there are toxic people out there, but it doesn’t mean that everyone or anyone who disagrees with me is toxic; there are times when healthy boundaries need to be set, but it doesn’t mean I need to set them every time or with everyone or make a big deal of it in every single situation; yes, AP is a good thing, but when the husband is being shut out in favor of the kids, or if it gets in the way of relationships or it is the starting point of looking for a church (instead of adherence to Scripture and soundness of doctrine), it has become unhealthy and an idol.

What this all comes down to is that we each are responsible for our actions — our need to develop strong discernment skills (which comes from regularly studying the Word), the time that we spend there or on any online community, what we choose to share (GCM does not require or encourage a sharing of one’s entire life or a lot of personal information), taking responsibility for our own feelings and reactions, and ultimately, knowing when it has become unhealthy and that it is time to walk away.

Bad Theology – Grace

For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.  2 Cornithians 2:2

I have mentioned before the lack of Jesus on the gentle Christian mothers forum pages.  There is lot of talk about personality types, how to dress according to your energy, and other such psychobabble.  One biblical term that is talked a great deal about though is grace.

What is grace?  Unmerited favor on sinners who deserve God’s wrath.

Where does grace come from? “For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17

Why are we given grace?  We need it!  We are all sinners who will have to pay the penalty for the sin we commit against God unless we are given undeserved favor from the Lord Himself. (2 Thes 1:5-12; Ephesians 2:4-9; Romans 5:6-9;)

Sin, Guilt, Confession

Whether you are an anti-spanker or spanker, sometimes parents respond to their child’s sin with sin themselves.  Sin in response to sin, what do you do with that?  How do GCMers respond when they confess to the other members that they weren’t nice to their child (more like confess they had “big feelings” over their child’s “big feelings”)?  A lot of times the advice is, “Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Give yourself grace.”  Jesus is not mentioned.   The Christian should know that when we are feeling guilty over our parenting, we have a wonderful Savior who died for our sins. Instead of remaining in the sin and guilt, confess the sin.  Humble yourself before God and your child; confess your sin to God,       confess your sin to your child.  Point your child to Jesus’ work on the cross for the forgiveness of your sin and your child’s sin.  Go back to the gospel.  This is what the Christian who sinned needs to be reminded of when guilt stricken.

Always pointing people to grace without the mention of Christ is pointing people to themselves.  It is the work of Christ that is so amazing.  What is grace without Christ?  It might be fine for non-Christians to give that advice to other non-Christians.  What do they know about the need for repentance?  What do they know of the freedom that comes through Christ Jesus our Lord?  But the believer has forgiveness through Christ and His grace!  We need to hear it.  We need to be pointed back to Christ and not to ourselves.

“The gospel news of salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone is summed up with three words—ransomed, redeemed, and reconciled. Those whom Christ has ransomed by His atonement on the cross He has redeemed and, therefore, reconciled them to Himself intimately and eternally.” — Harry Reeder

Cheap Grace

Grace is often reduced to what Dietrick Bonhoeffer referred to as “cheap grace”.

“Cheap grace is the grace we bestow on ourselves. Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance…cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Cost of Discipleship (Source)

Vanessa, from Hearts on Guard, said this about cheap grace.

“Grace is cheapened, sugar-coated, spread around with happy platitudes and warm-fuzzy pictures and songs. Declarations of our awesomeness, holiness and righteousness ring out, and any call for repentance, any mention of our old Adam is hushed and called displeasing to God.”
Look at Paul’s writings.  He encourages churches.  How?  Not by giving meaningless platitudes, but by always pointing them to their Lord and Savior.  I recommend anyone who is reading this, spend time in the books that Paul wrote.  See how he always mentions Christ.  When Paul mentions sin, Christ is mentioned.  When he mentions grace, Christ is mentioned.  The following few verses don’t even wait a few lines to link grace with Christ.  Romans 3:24; 2 Timothy 1:9; 2 Timothy 2:1.  Let us encourage one another like Paul.  Let us not leave out Christ!

Not a License to Sin

Some GCMers cheapen grace by using it as an excuse to sin.  I will not say anything more on it in this post, but refer you to my post entitled Legalism.  God’s word says:

For certain people have crept in unnoticed who long ago were designated for this condemnation, ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into sensuality and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.  Jude 4

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Titus 2:11-14

A great song about grace and Christ by Sovereign Grace Music.
Now Why This Fear?

Lyrics:
Now why this fear and unbelief?
Has not the Father put to grief
His spotless Son for us?
And will the righteous Judge of men
Condemn me for the debt of sin
Now canceled at the cross?Jesus, all my trust is in Your blood
Jesus, You’ve rescued us
Through Your great love

Complete atonement You have made
And by Your death have fully paid
The debt Your people owed
No wrath remains for us to face
We’re sheltered by Your saving grace
And sprinkled with Your blood

How sweet the sound of saving grace
How sweet the sound of saving grace
Christ died for me

Be still my soul and know this peace
The merits of your great high priest
Have bought your liberty
Rely then on His precious blood
Don’t fear your banishment from God
Since Jesus sets you free

Sister

Sister, I am writing this to you.  Although I don’t know if you have read any of the e-mails I have sent you in past, I am pretty sure you have read this blog.  There is one thing that I have thought a lot about and I want you to know.

I know you probably want me in hell.   I assume that is what your intention was.  You might think I am angry.  I am not.  My response was tears for you.  It is still hard to believe that I lost my best friend and that you would want us (your family) dead and in hell. If I am wrong about you thinking that, I am sorry.

So with knowing (or at least believing that is how it is) the above, I can still write what I am about to write.  Over the past two 1/2  years I have thought of this on and off.  If you decide you have had enough of being a victim and walk away from your current friends or if your friends one day decide that you are toxic and you find yourself alone and you needed help, would I drop everything to go be with you and help you (I realize that the chances of you calling me are slim.  I know you wouldn’t want my “toxicity” around.  But one day you might become that desperate or you might even realize we were never toxic.)?  Without a doubt, the answer is always yes.  So I want you to know, you are never alone in this world.  If you need me, I am just a phone call away.  I promise I will not bring up any of the awful past or hurt.  I will be there to serve you.  If you get cancer and need someone to clean up your vomit, I will do so.  If you have gaping wounds of ooze, I will change your bandages (please don’t read into this that I want those things to happen to you, because I don’t.  My prayers for you are all for good.).

Will it be awkward?  Probably.  You hate my guts and I know you hate my guts (I am assuming you hate my guts because my understanding is you would be happy with me in hell).  I don’t imagine we will sit and laugh hysterically like we used to when we would get strange glances from our family.  We probably won’t have anything to talk about.  To fill the silence we could play Trivial Pursuit.  And if it’s the 80’s version, song might break forth!  I can go to the store and buy you the blueberries you like.  Whatever is needed, I will be there for you.

You may scoff at this today and perhaps tomorrow.  But if the day should arise, I don’t want any of the past to hinder you from contacting me.  I will never turn my back on you.  You never have to be alone.  I love you.

May God bless you with every good gift from above.

With much love,

Your Family Member Always

P.S. After writing this, I thought I would ask the other three what they thought about stopping everything to help you if you ever needed it (I thought I knew the answer but I didn’t want to put words in their mouths).  Mom looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, “Of course”.  She will never stop loving you.  We are all here for you if ever you should need us.

More About Sin

Here is a portion from an article by Rick Thomas, The Most Powerful Way to Help Someone to Change that I thought GCMers would be helped by.

“Here is my question to you: Shouldn’t you have mercy on others because of the mercy that was shown to you? Let’s go at it this way. Let’s take a short Gospel Test. How you answer these questions will reveal your understanding and application of the Gospel:

  1. Who is the biggest sinner you know? If you say anyone other than yourself, then you may have Gospel amnesia. (cf. Matthew 7:3-5; 1 Timothy 1:15)
  2. Do you believe what was done to you by others is worse than what you did to the Savior?
  3. Is there someone in your life you will not forgive?
  4. Is there someone in your life you are generally angry, frustrated, or impatient?

How you answered these questions reveals your functional understanding and application of the Gospel. If you are more stuck on what someone has done to you rather than what you have done to Christ, then you are a problem-centered, self-centered Christian, rather than a Gospel-centered Christian.”

An Article by Tracy Keen

On March 12  in my post entitled, What’s Going On, I linked to an article Tracy Keen wrote on abuse (it is in the comments section).  Today she has another great article up at RickThomas.net entitled, How to counsel the abused by going beyond the abuse.  If Rick or Tracy see this, I would love to post the entire article.  But for GCMers here are a few quotes from the article that you need to understand, something that has been left to the wayside in all the counseling that goes on at GCM.

Jennifer is the abused in this post.

“Jennifer has two problems. The first, she has been on the receiving end of much abuse and hardship and that is the problem that is obvious.

The second problem, which is not so obvious and where you must tread carefully, is she is also the victim of the modern gospel. She has a heart issue in more ways than one.

Jennifer needs a heart that is healed from the sins done to her, but she also needs a heart healed by Christ for the sins she has committed, which are not connected to the abuse.”

“In comes the struggle when dealing with a person like Jennifer. It is unbelievably difficult to counsel or help a person who has had so many sinful things done to them.

The reason for this, simply put, is because it is hard for them to see their own sin in addition to the sins done to them. Their focus is on others for obvious reasons. Even writing about their Adamic condition outside of the abuse can be an affront to the abused.”

“This is why a gospel that is centered only on the love of God and does not address the sins of the person is going to fail a person like Jennifer. She may come to God looking to be loved and accepted, which she will, but she will not be helped comprehensively.

So she comes to God confessing all the sinful things people have done to her. She admits to Christ how she is broken, about as broken as any person could be when they have been abused. She sees no future for her life and truly wants God to put her back together.”

“But here’s the problem, Jennifer was never helped to see her sin that put Christ on the cross. So when she comes to the cross, she comes with a list of sins committed against her.

When she leaves the foot of the cross, nothing has truly changed because now she sees herself not as how God sees her, but as someone better than those who have wronged her.

So what did Jennifer walk away with if it wasn’t Christ? Just an empty form of religion that often times leaves a person worse off than before. When dealing with a person like Jennifer, there are some things to keep in mind.

  1. Salvation is the work of God. We are to lead people like Jennifer to the cross.
  2. Sanctification is a work of God. We are to water and plant, trusting the LORD to give the growth.
  3. A person like Jennifer will need time to be able to separate her sin from the sins done to her.
  4. Pray, pray, and pray some more.”

Bad Theology – Sin

…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

Although the GCM shut down will likely not result in resolving any of the issues I have spoken out about on this website, my hope and prayer is that everyone will take this time to reevaluate GCM.  I pray that moms will be asking themselves if they have spent too much time online instead of with their kids (and husbands too).  I have been praying that since many have left on a bad note, maybe now the head honchos of GCM will waken up to the problems that are on the site.  Although I hope and pray for the best, it might stay the same.  And so I continue on although I wouldn’t mind if they closed their doors completely and put me out of a job!!!  I have been working on several posts about the bad theology running rampant on GCM and what a great time to finally get them finished.   This is the first of many.

Sin

Parents are the ones who should be the main teachers of Scripture to their children (morning, noon, and night! see Deut 6:7).  We are to teach them about sin and our sinful nature, repentance, grace, mercy, forgiveness through Christ’s death on the cross, sanctification and bringing glory and honor to our God.  We can not just teach grace because without the others, what does grace mean?  We need to teach the law and the gospel so they will be broken-hearted over their sins and run to the Savior for grace, mercy and forgiveness.

“Psalm 51 is the photograph of a contrite spirit. Oh, let us seek after the like brokenness of heart, for however excellent our words may be, yet if the heart is not conscious of the blackness and hell-deservingness of sin, we cannot expect to find mercy with the Judge of all the earth. If the Lord will break your heart, consent to have it broken; asking that he may sanctify that brokenness of spirit to bring you in earnest to a savior, that you may yet be numbered with the righteous ones.” – C. H. Spurgeon

“We rob the gospel of its power if we leave out its threatenings of punishment.” – C.H. Spurgeon

Many GCMers have a problem with calling anything they do as sin.  They and their children just have, “big feelings”.  That is all.  Just feelings.  Nothing wrong with feelings.  Except the problem when our feelings can lead us to sin when we aren’t going to God’s word for the truth.

James 1:14-15 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Number One “Big Feeling”: Anger

Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry and do not sin.”  Anger in and of itself is NOT sin.  What we do with that anger can be sin.  If our child is acting out in anger by hurting others, he is sinning.  He needs to be taught that it is sin and that God hates sin and God punishes sin, but that there is forgiveness if we humbly confess our sins.  If we aren’t teaching these things to our children, we are teaching them to be indifferent towards sin.  Indifference to sin will lead us further from our wonderful Savior and down that broad and wide path that many find themselves on, the path that leads to destruction.  Let us be realistic and honest, most of our anger does not show forth in righteousness but in sinful ways and those need to be called sin.

To show you why “big feelings” is a bad idea, I will use me as an example.  I am sure GCMers will be able to see my sin!  I have gotten called many horrible names by GCMers who had “big feelings” about my blog.  I have been called sad, pathetic, rude, angry, bitter, blind and so many things.  When I get comments like this, you know what my first reaction is?  “You stupidhead.”  Not exactly, but my first thoughts are usually not good thoughts.  I get angry.  Now in my anger, I could comment back a lot of hatred filled rhetoric too.  I know this would be sin and not bring glory to God.  So, when I get these types of comments, I often have to walk away for a day or two until I can respond in an appropriate manner i.e. defend truth and not attack the person.  GCMers, I know how easily it is for me to sin.  I know I still have my sinful nature, but I also know I am no longer a slave to that sinful nature.  I know I don’t have to sin in my anger.  But according to your theology (actually pop psychology), since I just have “big feelings”, why does it matter if I would write back to you and call you all the names you call me?  We both are just having “big feelings”.  You express yours and I express mine back to you.  But if we take the time to use Biblical language (and use it correctly), we should call our name calling sin.  We should then repent and call others who do the same to repent.  We should stop calling each other names and forgive one another.  If we are quick to say, “I am having big feelings about this.”, which GCMers often write, without acknowledging our temptation to sin, we really aren’t doing ourselves a service.  You are having sinful thoughts and want to respond in a sinful manner.  How much better to acknowledge that fact instead of trying to whitewash it by making it sound better than it actually is.

I have written about this problem as well as the lack of sin in children (or so they say) before HERE. Since the doctrine of original sin is often attacked, I linked to two articles below on the subject.

Before the Throne of God (sung by Lou Fellingham)

A great High Priest whose name is love, who ever lives and pleads for me

When Satan temps me to despair and tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died, my sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me

My soul is purchased by His blood

Further Reading:

Original Sin

Is it Possible to Be Angry and Not Sin?

Teaching Children About Sin Versus Protecting Their Self-Esteem

A Short Essay on Original Sin

What Is Going On?

This will be my most hastily written post ever because it is a current event update!  I feel like a news reporter.  I know what the headline should be.

GCM Shuts Down

Of course, it is not the professional news reporter who would then state, “woo hoo, woo hoo, happy dance, woo hoo.”  Unfortunately, it is a temporary shut down though.  So what happened, what is happening?  I will probably ask more questions than answer, but here we go.

It all started last week.  The site administrator and moderators decided it was time for a break.  In order to take a step back from the site, they would shut down all non-parenting related forums through lent.  From what a moderator had said I can gather that no prior notice was given even though they knew about the partial shut down for a week.  They got too busy to notify the GCMers.  So one day thousands of GCMers woke up without their community, it had been snatched like “a rug pulled out from under” them.  Keep in mind, not all of GCM was shut down.  But when a web site has an unhealthy control over you, well your world shuts down!

Let me digress here and aid my fellow reader in the structure of GCM.  First there are the few public posts where you and I can go and read.  Once someone becomes a member they then can start posting in these public forums.  When 10 posts have been reached a door reveals the next layer of GCM.  They are now privy to more forums.  Once 40 posts are reached more doors open.  The same with 80, 125, 25o, 500 and possibly even 1000 posts.  There are at least 28 private forums, two of which include “solo parenting within marriage” for those women who have beastly husbands who don’t know how to be gentle (bit of sarcasm there, yes) and “breaking the chains (abuse and addiction)” where I can only imagine a great deal of damage to families is done.  So these are probably two of the many shut down.  To that I would say, “May they never come back!”

Some GCMers thought there was more to the story than what meets the eye.  Was there some conspiracy going on?  Is that why they were really shut down?  From the public forum, I found no evidence of this -it was alluded to that there are online chat areas where people were talking one on one with moderators and then leaving.  But I did find that the administrator was called a liar and all sorts of names.  I know how this feels.  Since the beginning of this site, I have been called many nasty things by GCMers, egotistical, sad, pathetic, a miserable excuse for a person, rude,  I have been told I need a kick in the pants (thought they didn’t believe in violence?), I should be in a straight jacket and the list goes on and on.  So I know how nasty these woman can be.  But now they have turned on themselves!  Division in the ranks.  At first it was everyone else that was abusive.  A former GCMer once told me that, “I have frequently seen members encourage other members to end contact with family and friends over simple arguments. At GCM there is no such thing as an argument, there is only “abuse”.”   Now GCMers are calling each other abusive!  Here are some of the comments that have been made.  (By the way, many members have quit since this all occurred.)  Emphasis added by me.

I can’t function in a place that has become so toxic. I can’t function in a place where a few people are held to a different standard of conduct for how they treat others. I can’t function in a place where we are reminded to extend grace to our children, and yet that same grace is not shown to members, over and over again. GCM has encouraged me to be brave. To speak up. To draw boundaries.  To take a stand against abuse in my life. Unfortunately today that means I have to take a stand against GCM. I cannot stay.” – posted March 10, 2014 Out of the desert and into the sun

“It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.  Please deactivate my membership.” -posted on March 7, 2014 A full-on Monet
“In the past few days, I’ve seen behavior that breaks my heart. I’m not talking about personality clashes or differences in communication styles. I’m talking about dishonesty, emotional manipulation, and just plain nastiness. Some of the most vocal detractors of GCM are demanding something from the GCM leadership — an ethical stance, a compassionate approach to listening, a tolerance for differences in perspective — that they themselves are unwilling to provide. To support and encourage this kind of breach of trust makes those of us who have given of our time and energies (and I have given perhaps the least of all) here as mods and admins feel as though we have shared our hearts, our vulnerabilities, and our inner thoughts with people who are judging us and finding us wanting (best case scenario) or who will later use those vulnerabilities to hurt us (worst case scenario). I’ve seen mods and admins called liars in the past few days. It’s been implied to me and other mods that we are in the dark and GCM would be better off without us. I’ve watched people cheer on those who are saying the most hurtful, unkind, and negative things about Jeri and her board when all she has ever done is make this amazing space available to any mother who needed it. I have watched people spread half-truths and gossip and then turn around and accuse the leadership team here of the same actions with absolutely no evidence.”  -posted on March 10, 2014 I’m Probably Going to Look Back on This as One of My Crazy Episodes
“However, as a member of this community, I am now choosing to walk away from an environment that has become toxic. Where there’s little, if any, accountability for the leadership, where certain members of the community seem to be given a free pass to act in ways that many other members of the community are not, where grace is no longer shown to the members the way it used to be. I am standing up, using my voice that I found through GCM, to say that I can’t stay here and watch this happen anymore. I can’t stay and watch the abuse continue unchecked anymore.Last I counted, at least 15 members, most of them long-time members who had been here for years and had accumulated tens of thousands of posts, had deactivated. That didn’t happen for no reason or because a few people got in a snit. I can’t speak specifically for anyone else, but I would hope that when that many long-time members, with that many posts, leave within the space of a few days, it would be a huge red flag to the leadership here that something isn’t right, that something isn’t working.” – posted on March 10, 2014 Peace out
“And therein lies why it’s going to continue to be hard to understand. There are privacy rules in place where you can’t even point out when a post is indicative of a pattern of behavior because you might be mentioning something that happened in another thread, or you might be told it’s something you should handle in another venue, etc., which is very effective at keeping issues quiet even when they are not effectively addressed. If someone asks me what’s going on, all I can tell them is that they’ll have to discover it for themselves because the privacy rules keep it shrouded. There may be changes brewing, but only certain changes would mean that the same thing’s not going to continue as a pattern until the next generation of 10,000+ posters discover it for themselves.”  -posted  on March 10, 2014 Re: i don’t understand why people keep leaving
So will there be any lasting change?  Does the leadership finally see what I have been saying all along?  Will they get back to their roots: Jesus of the Bible?  Will GCMers repent?  Will they see the abuse they themselves have caused while accusing others of abuse?  Will their eyes be opened to their hypocrisy?  I can only hope and pray for the best.  My prayer is that with the entire site being shut down for 5 or 6 days, that many GCMers will now focus on their families and realize they don’t need GCM.  I pray that the leadership will see what I have seen and just shut the whole site down because of the vast array of problems.  If it does come back, I pray that they will stick with their initial objectives and give up all else (i.e. bad theology, everyone is abusive but me mentality,  everyone but GCM is evil mentality, etc.).  But from what I understand nothing will be deleted during this time, most unfortunately.
So we wait and we pray.