Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
There is not one Christian community that is devoid of sin. All Christian communities are made up of sinners who have been saved by grace. Christ gave them a new heart yet they still struggle with their flesh. Perfection is desired but we also realize this is not possible on this side of life. This is why humility and forgiveness are needed. The sanctification process takes a lifetime. There should be continual growth in any Christian group.
On Thursday, April 10, 2014 there was a thread started on the Let’s Talk part of the GCM forum called I think its extremely sad. It has since been locked to further comments.
There were many on there who were upset with what the original poster said, “Now the only people left are the “yes men” …. so go ahead, tear me a new one, but this is the truth.” One GCMer handled it well. Mamaka (#159) did a good job! I recommend everyone go read what she said to illinoismommy. It is so sad to see that many don’t speak this way on a supposedly Christian site. Although Mamaka did not exactly like how illinoismommy said something, she tried to understand her and not dismiss her because of the way she chose to say it. Although Mamaka had no answers, she acknowledged the problem. I also want to mention gentlemommy’s apology (#185) to milkdud. It was very nice to see someone humbly confessing what they did wrong! It was wonderful to see something favorable. So although most of the comments were not so good, helpful or edifying on this thread, there were two positive ones worth mentioning.
I get rude comments from GCMers all the time. People are upset with what I write. Sometimes I do have to go back and make a correction. This just happened recently in my Hate Comments post. Although the GCMer misconstrued my intentions and was not so nice about how she said it, I still took the time to look over what she was offended about. I did notice right away that I really didn’t want that much information out there so I edited it out. It was a reminder to myself that I really have to take more time to post sometimes! A good reminder to us all – don’t talk or write in anger! Although I was quite disgusted with “Herkimmerbones” attitude on something she knew nothing about and appalled at what she said, I really did need to take into account others whom I was talking about. If I hadn’t posted in such haste I would have also gotten my brother-in-laws approval first before I posted the gossip of the commenter. He didn’t care so I left it up. But in the same post, I didn’t even think of others when I should have. The mistakes had been made, all I could do was humbly admit it then try my best to fix them.
I could have instead done what many GCMers do. Not even acknowledge the problem because the person was rude in the way that she told me about the problem. But ignoring problems is not the answer. I could have just “given myself grace” for my “big feelings” but I would still be in my sin. I went to the One who is able to forgive and give grace because He bled and died for my sins. I confessed my anger and my thoughtlessness in considering others. I received the grace that comes from God. It is by far better than any grace I can give myself. For when He gives me grace there is then no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (from Romans 8:1).
GCMers (as well as myself) watch how you say things to people. Let us humbly count others more significant than ourselves (from Phil 2:3). When we fall short in this area let us confess our sins and receive forgiven.
GCMers stop ignoring problems. Address them, even if someone is not so nice in the way it was brought up. Have patience with them and work through the problem instead of ignoring the person. Forgive the person for their hurtful words. Help them in a godly way to work through their frustrations. Obviously illinoismommy was upset and instead of bashing her into the ground for what she said, gently correct her and then address the problem. It was truly heartbreaking to read through that thread because very little was accomplished. Ignoring problems will not make them go away (there are other threads where this also happens). GCM is bound to have a repeat performance of another split because people bring up concerns but instead of getting answers they get attacked – it’s the “Gentle” “Christian” way I suppose.
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.