Tag Archives: graced based discipline


Young couple with baby.

In my last post I asked the questions: Does it [meaning graced based discipline (GBD)/gentlechristianmothers.com (GCM)] lead to arguments between you and your husband and has it interfered with your relationships causing divisions where there should be none?  Let us look at what the Bible teaches us about relationships.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3 ESV)

We, in our sinful nature, want to do things our way.  Sometimes we forget that our spouses have a different way of looking at things, and if we would take the time to listen to them, we would find a better solution to a problem.  Do you treat your spouse as more significant than yourself or is selfish ambition and conceit getting in the way (i.e. You know how to parent and your husband doesn’t – “I want parenting to be done my way because my way is right” “I am the one that researches and knows everything there is to parenting so this is the way it WILL be done.”  If this is your attitude, let me remind you of some scripture: Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride goes before destruction. and James 1:19 says, “be quick to hear, slow to speak.”)?

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:14-18 ESV)

Are you striving for peace in your relationships to your husband, parents, siblings, etc?  Or is GBD/GCM creating a division that you feel is ok because you are right and they are wrong?  This all goes back to: Is GBD your gospel?  If you think GBD is the ONLY way to go and you lessen anyone because they view parenting differently than you, you are not striving to live at peace.  The gospel is not grace based discipline.  The wonderful gospel is Christ was crucified for our sins and rose victorious over sin and death.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.” (Exodus 20:12 ESV)

Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, …(Proverbs 11:29 ESV)

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV)

God is kind, merciful and loving. Praise be to God.  If you see that you are the cause of relationship problems, confess your sins, turn from them and praise God for His forgiveness through Jesus Christ!

If you are thinking of joining GCM or if your wife has joined, these are things to be aware of.  They do have a tendency on that site of treating graced based discipline as the gospel which causes division in their relationships with others.


“Man’s mind is like a store of idolatry and superstition; so much so that if a man believes his own mind it is certain that he will forsake God and forge some idol in his own brain.” -John Calvin

“Grace will save a man, but it will not save a man and his idol.” -A.W. Tozer

As Christians we need to always be examining ourselves. We do not want sin to take hold of our lives because we want to be slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:18) not to sin.  Yes, Christians can and do sin, but we know that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

GCMers, let us look at the sin called idolatry. If anything is as important as God (or more so), then it has become an idol. Please take time to examine your heart in this matter. You might not like what you find and it might not be pleasant, but God’s Word says, “put to death therefore what is earthly in you…” (Colossians 3:5).

Has graced based discipline (GBD) and gentlechristianmothers.com (GCM) displaced God in your life?

Is it of greater value to you than God Himself?

Has GBD become your gospel?

Has it interfered with your relationships, causing division where there should be none?

Does it lead to arguments between you and your husband?

Is everyone who does not practice GBD evil (or really bad) in your eyes?

Do you only want to interact with people on the site and not with others (including your church) who may have a different view than yours?

Has it become everything to you?

Scripture to meditate on:

“You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3 ESV

Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry. 1 Corinthians 10:14 ESV

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols. 1 John 5:20-21 ESV

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. Colossians 3:1-3 ESV